Scout's Gripe Page

(Updated 5/29/02)

Welcome to my newest page devoted to human idiocy! It's been a long time since I've updated any of these pages. After all, I'm a busy cat. You don't think that I just work a little each day and then take a cruise like my human companions did, do you? As if I'd be caught dead in a big tub of water!

 Foolish humans get wet and drink non-dairy products while on a cruise...
and they say that animals are dumb.

Speaking of foolish humans, there's something we have to talk about. I'm talking, of course, about that guy and his television show. If you know who I mean (and I think that you do) you are already rolling on the floor laughing at the morons who watch it. But I'm afraid that this isn't good enough for me. I just have to know:

What's the deal with John Edward?

No, let me rephrase that. I know what the deal is with John Edward. He's a fraudulent huckster, a con man...and the SciFi channel is pimping for his show, "Crossing Over."  SciFi apparently doesn't care that they're participating in a huge confidence game. 

"But, Scout," you say, "There are a lot of things we don't understand about the world. Why can't you allow for the possibility that he actually does communicate with the dead? You've got to admit that he's uncannily accurate."

OK, that seems fair. It's wrongheaded and ignorant, but fair. The only way I can answer that is to point out that, if you truly believe that there might be something the least little bit legitimate or real about Edward's act, then you are a complete and total moron. I'm not even going to dignify your point of view by trying to reason with you. I will simply speak to you like a child.

Let's get real...which may be hard for superstitious dunderheads. Have you ever seen a magician? Well, a magician is an actor who plays the role of someone who has magical powers. Nobody actually believes the magician has magical powers...we simply watch to see how well he can act the part. Now, John Edward is a psychic, which is an actor who plays the role of someone who has supernatural powers. He knows he doesn't actually have these powers. Most people know he doesn't actually have these powers. The difference is that he makes his money by convincing some small gullible portion of the population that he really can talk to their departed friends and relatives. This goes beyond entertainment and into fraud.

People who fall for John Edward's act remind me of psychic researchers who are fooled by subjects using simple sleight-of-hand or magic tricks. They are convinced that they are too smart and too sophisticated to fall for simple "parlor tricks." Their pride and ignorance blinds them. After all, most scientists are as delighted (and mystified) by a good magic show as the rest of us. Just because we don't understand how a magic trick is done doesn't mean that we think it was actually a supernatural act. So, why do these idiots witness Edward doing a simple "cold reading" and fall for it hook, line, and sinker? "Cold reading" has been used for hundreds of years. To learn more about it, just check out any book on mentalism or one of the many web sites that describe the process.

I mean, come on, people, do you really think that every dead relative and friend is waiting around to tell you that, "Everything is OK!" or, "I forgive you!" or, "I wasn't in any pain!"? I doubt it. Notice how they never tell you what stocks are going to go up, or where they hid the butter knife, or why they cut you out of their will?

Last, but not least, I have to break some more bad news: Believing in John Edward's claims, or even listening to him, is un-Christian. Or, at least, it's not scriptural. According to scripture, the dead do not become either ghosts or angels. Ghosts are completely counter to the Christian concept of heaven. Only one time does the Bible describe what we would call a ghost (1 Samuel 28:7-20) and this episode clearly illustrates the danger of using a witch to raise the spirit of a dead person. According to Deuteronomy 18:10-12 (RSV), "...any one who practices divination, a soothsayer, or an augur, or a sorcerer, or a charmer, or a medium, or a wizard, or a an abomination to The Lord; and...The Lord your God is driving them out before you." If they're not ghosts, are they a charming sort of angel come back to see you? Afraid not. Angels were created separately from man and are a different species and order than man. Genesis 2:1 (KJV) speaks of the "hosts" of heaven being created. Revelations 7:9-14 states that angels and men are two completely different beings.

Do us all a favor, people, and get skeptical. You don't have to believe in nothing...just don't believe in obviously untrue things.

Want to learn more? Check out these sites:

The Skeptic's Dictionary

Committee for the Scientific Investigation of Claims of the Paranormal

James Randi Educational Foundation


If you're pissed off or want to argue, go take a chill pill. Otherwise, send mail to me. I would be particularly interested in your comments on this con artist.

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